From country club to swamp country

Q: What do you get when you take two pretty blondes and place them in a backwoods swamp town in the Everglades?

A: A whole bunch of middle age men wishing they didn't have wedding bands, and a whole bunch of old men wishing for a hard on.

The minute we pulled into town in a bright red BMW, parking next to 4x4s and F-250s,we knew we were in for a treat. I'm not sure if it was the full sets of teeth, the lack of baggy t-shirts and jeans, or different elements combined, but we turned that town upside down. In the short time we were there, we received marriage proposals, job offers, airboat ride offers, kisses from drunk girls and free drinks. People were on us like flies on shit. More than once, we received remarks on how beautiful AND intelligent we were, because apparently, that's an uncommon occurrence among women there. I might have had to pick a few jaws off the floor after revealing we were both country girls at heart, hailing from small towns ourselves. It was actually refreshing to mingle with the down-to-earth country folk I was accustomed to. If nothing else, it was a bit of an ego boost after being overlooked among fake tits, fake hair, and fake tans the night before in Naples. And now we've got a few good connections for some serious airboating adventures when our little hearts desire!