Anatomy of a Fight

This is almost a monthly occurrence and usually after we've had a bit to drink...

Step 1:
Boo breaks me down by purposely ignoring me or saying something that he knows will get to me.
Step 2:
I confront him about his behavior.
Step 3:
He makes me feel like the confrontation is not justified all while continuing to push my buttons.
Step 4:
I get upset and usually cry.
Step 5:
He realized he's making me upset AGAIN and feels bad.
Step 6:
I cry some more.
Step 7:
He apologizes. He questions his integrity and my ability to put up with him.
Step 8:
I keep crying because he's so oblivious to the fact that I love him so much and that's why I continue to put up with him.
Step 9:
He questions my feelings for him because I'm often closed off emotionally.
Step 10:
I tell him that he is a total pain in the ass, but I love him. For that reason, I put up with the crap he delivers, but not without warning that if persistently strained, the dam will break.

Neither of us are angry drunks, but our respective demons come out to play after hitting the bottle. The thing is, if I don't engage, he gets bored and stops trying to push buttons. That's it. But I can never just cease and desist. My inner masochist won't let me. So here we are, conflicted when we drink and congenial when we're sober. Yin and yang. Mars and Venus.