I lay there in the dark, woozy from the combination of beer and intense emotional conversation I just had. I rolled over and closed my eyes as "Give A Little Bit" played softly in the background. How appropriate, I thought to myself, as the tears welled up in my eyes. His silhouette appeared in the doorway and I watched him walk to the side of the bed. He knelt down beside me and stroked my head. I tried to keep quiet, but the sobs kept escaping. He slid into bed beside me and comforted me as my tears soaked the pillow.
"I want this, believe me, but I'm not quite ready to give my heart to someone again," he whispered in my ear.
"You can't keep holding back and fearing the worst," I replied softly. "I'm not her, and this a completely different relationship."
"I know. I do consider you my girlfriend. I'm even changing my Facebook status," he mocked. I giggled through the tears, knowing how adolescent he was trying to sound. "But seriously, please be patient with me. I don't want you to go anywhere."
"I've stuck around for this long. This is obviously something I want, and willing to wait for, so I'm not going anywhere," I assured him.
"I do care about you a lot. You may not know how much, but I do. I'm not talking about dropping the L-bomb just yet, but you get the point."
I let him continue on, while I allowed the tears to stop own their own. I listened quietly as he finally opened up to me. I held on to him as he allowed me to see the vulnerable part of him. I finally got past the layers of wit, stubbornness, and caustic remarks, to the layers I had been waiting 11 months for. When all was said and done, he slowly undressed me, and made love to me. Although he may not be ready to say it, I could feel it in our intensity, in the tenderness, and in the tears I didn't hold back. I can't say that I've ever cried during sex, but those tears washed away the uncertainty and made me realize I am, without a doubt, in love with Boo.
And this morning, I logged on to Facebook to find a request to confirm that Boo and I were indeed in a relationship. I guess he wasn't kidding!
2 comments:
Congrats girl!
Well....I haven't been online blogging in quite some time, but now that yours is official...mine may be officially over. It's the end of an era. Not totally done yet...tonight we are having another talk. I don't know how many more of these I can take.
I wish you well and the best of luck with it all!! Boo is a lucky guy.
I hate baggage.
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