The List

If you hadn't already noticed, my experience in dating has been a streak of bad luck. Lately, this streak has turned into more of a large glob. In the past few years (oh God, it's been YEARS!), I think I've dated quite the diverse selection of guys. Let's go down the list, shall we?

In one sentence or less...

CP: Two dates and a giant shit later, I decided he wasn't for me, especially when he thought we should be exclusive after I heard him let his bowels loose.

K: Met on Match.com, were FWBs off and on for a long time, at one point I wanted more, but things fizzled out when nothing changed and now we're strictly friends.

G: Beer belly, bald spot, baby talk, bothersome groping = BLECH...peace the fuck out!

TM: I really didn't "date" him, but "hung out" with him often and as we all know: co-worker = bad idea (but fabulous fun!).

S: He was adorable and funny with a little Southern charm, but the nonstop smoking/drinking, his choice of friends, and his wandering eye made me realize he really wasn't all that charming.

B: Good guy, but we ended up becoming FWBs and FWB - WB = friends.

M: Believe it or not, I actually work for this loser now (and he reads this!), but in all seriousness, he was one of the good guys, yet some things just don't work out (you know, like drinking obscene amounts of liquor and then trying to have sex, but that's irrelevant...kinda).

P: Oh lawdy, he rocked my world, but his temper had a short fuse, he was a compulsive liar and was seeing/sleeping with another chick.

BG: Short-lived...wasn't all that attracted to him at first, but his kick ass sense of humor made him grow on me...he loved the ladies too much and things fizzled.

FedEx: What a handsome guy, but certain things about him just didn't sit well with me...like his philandering with his soon-to-be (female) roommate or his inclination to rid his apartment of any evidence that I was there.

N: I went into this one without the intention of dating, yet we had such a good time together, it kind of morphed into that, but sadly, after one insensitive blog written by yours truly (he reads this, too), and some other unknown variables, we stopped seeing each other.

Fortunately (and perhaps surprisingly), I've stopped being bitter about my luck in dating. I've found the humor in the situation, and at the very least, I can look back and learn from all the mistakes, or you know, laugh my ass off!