Sound Advice

Friends have questions...I help them (or at least I try).

Q: Cosmo says that boys like it when you eat a donut off their pee-pee. Is this true?

A: Ok, rule #1...never refer to a penis as a pee-pee, unless you are under the age of five, retarded, or trying to lure a sexual predator. Dick, penis, cock, schlong...these all work way better in keeping your guy from running for the hills. As for the donut, I suppose if he's small enough to fit a donut on his penis without ripping it in half, then try it out. Or you could always perch it on the top like a halo. I, for one, have never tried this. But I imagine that he wouldn't be able to enjoy it due to his uncontrollable laughter. Although, I am an advocate for trying anything once, so give it the ol' college try and see how he reacts. Either he'll bring a dozen donuts every time he sees you, or he'll never be able to look at Dunkin' Donuts the same way.

Q: I've heard guys have a G-spot, but I have no idea where it is or what I should do with it?

A: I have heard of this. However, it is related to the prostate. So unless you want to plunge finger first into his browneye, then you might want to stick to the external pleasure spots. Butt, (pun intended) if you don't mind getting your hands a little dirty, and he's willing to lend you his mudvain, here's a little help. The prostate is a small gland, about the size of a condom, located within the perineum -- the area between your testicles and anus. It secretes prostatic fluid, the main component of semen. The prostate can be reached internally by inserting a lubricated finger in the anus, or for the bolder ones, sex toys. Gently massaging that gland can produce explosive orgasms for many men. Good luck and happy hunting.

Q: Is it weird to kiss a boy after he goes down on you?

A: Weird? No. Unless you are the chick asking the next question, then it's gross. But seriously, it's not weird or gross. If you're comfortable with him and yourself, then it shouldn't be a problem. And if you keep yourself so fresh, so clean, then you probably won't even notice anything different. Bonus: you can refute arguments that "it tastes bad" because you already have, and it was definitely not unpleasant.

Q: Why does my vagina have a funky odor? It smells really bad all the time. Even my boyfriend says so.

A: You either need to wash it more often, or you have an infection. If the ol' soap and water trick doesn't seem to help, then I suggest a trip to your friendly gyno. They'll probably give you some antibiotics and the funk should be gone within a few days. And your boyfriend can remove his gas mask. The gyno can also recommend ways to prevent future funkiness. 'Cause vagina funk really stinks! Again, pun intended.

If you have any questions, feel free to email them to tbiatch2u@gmail.com. All authors and their questions will remain anonymous...unless I hate you. Kidding!