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Monday, January 16, 2006

Can we talk about how I am a GIANT idiot?

I don't know why I did it. I think it was a combination of wanting to be 100% sure, wanting some male company and having nothing to do on a weekend night. Whatever made me do it, I knew it was a bad idea and I regretted ever making such a crappy, too-quick decision. Let me elaborate...

It was around 7pm and S calls. He's going out with a couple that he's friends with and wants me to come too. He reminds me of how we haven't seen each other in awhile and he'd really like to see me. The smart me would've said no and ended it there (actually, the smart me never would've answered the phone, but that's beside the point). But since I didn't have anything to do that night, I agreed. Plus, I had a CD of files for his business cards that I hadn't yet given to him. Lame excuse, I know.

So I find myself at S's house. His friends Karl and Erin are there too. We all decide to go out to the nearby sushi place for some drinks. When we arrive there, half of the town is at the bar and S knows probably 70%. Naturally, S leaves me to go and chat with all of them. I catch him putting a girl's number in his cell phone. Way to be covert. After about an hour of being ignored, and trying to make small talk with Karl and Erin, S and his "crew" decide we should go downtown. Karl obliges and we take off.

We walk into one of the downtown bars. S leaves me again right away. He returns briefly with a beer for me (what a gentleman!) and takes off again. He returns within a few minutes wearing a scowl on his face. I ask him what is wrong and he goes off about how his "boy" didn't buy him a shot when he had bought shots for everyone else. I remind him that it was just a shot and it didn't mean anything. By this time, S was getting pretty drunk so he didn't understand logic (not that he clearly does when he's sober). When he starts to make a scene, we decide to go to another bar.

Out on the street, S starts running his mouth. His "boy" is right behind us and S marches over and starts getting in his face. There are police within a few yards and the last thing we need is to bail people out of jail. I am beyond fed up and am ready to go. Erin grabs S and drags him away, telling him to calm down or she won't ever go out with him again. S calms down enough for us to go to the next bar.

We lose S immediately inside. I was holding S's money so I use it to buy us all a round of drinks. Karl, Erin and I stand close to the bar. S is nowhere to be found and frankly, I stopped caring. We head out to the dance floor where we find S...dancing with two girls. I shrug and turn away to dance with Karl and Erin. S tries dancing with me but I ignore him. We drink, dance and I ignore S until last call.

We find ourselves out in front of the bar, huddling close to the wall as it started raining and quite windy. A male friend of Erin's hugs her and S sees. In his drunken stupor, he thinks the dude is hitting on her in front of her boyfriend. S gets in the dude's face and starts running his mouth. We try to peel him off the guy and walk away. We finally succeed and head toward the car. S whips around and runs back to the guy. I keep walking to the car. I stand in the rain for ten minutes before Karl and Erin finally get S to the car. All three are screaming at the top of their lungs, making no sense at all.

We finally arrive back at S's after an headache-inducing, ear piercing car ride. I feel like shit so I get my stuff out of my car and head for the house. Erin has to pee so I show her the bathroom. Meanwhile, S and I stand in his room arguing about how much of an ass he is. We're interrupted by S's roommates (who had been sleeping) screaming for him to control his guests. We find Erin standing at the door, yelling and crying because she couldn't get out. I bring her in S's room to calm her down.

S and Karl both appear in the doorway. Karl gets this scary, psychotic look on his face. He points at Erin and calls her a whore. She starts crying even more and walks toward him. He lunges toward her and pushes her as hard as he can. She flies into the bed and collapses in a heap on the floor. She starts screaming hysterically. By this time, S's roommates have had it. We drag everyone outside. Erin sits on the curb in hysterics while S is trying to calm Karl. Karl screams for Erin to get in the car and she obliges. Karl jumps in and peels out, squealing his tires loudly. I turn, walk back inside and go to bed.


Needless to say, after that night, I am now 150% sure that I cannot, in no possible way, have any sort of relationship with S. Although he's almost 26, he still hasn't completely grown up. He surrounds himself with the same type of people who still haven't grown out of the binge-drinking, drug-using, fight-inducing behavior they've demonstrated since high school. I hung around a fair share of these people when I was younger and I can't believe I was actually in a similar situation at this point in my life. I'm also quite disappointed in myself that I would allow myself to get that involved with such, dare I say, losers. S is basically in a selfish stage in his life, where he's not concerned with anyone but himself. He says he wants a serious relationship but he's clearly demonstrating the opposite. Fool me once, shame on him. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I am a GIANT idiot!


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So why do you date such idiots as S and P and B? Obviously they aren't worth a second of your time. All you need to do is put half the effort it takes to deal with these morons and you will have someone who adores and respects you in no time. You deserve more than that. Your an awesome person. You deserve that in return.

Anonymous said...

I know! I'm not sure why I continued to make myself available for these dickwads. The common factor is that they all are/were capable of treating me well at one time or another (usually when they wanted something) and I ate it up, ignoring when they were complete fucksticks the rest of the time. And you're right, they do not deserve anymore of my time. Now it's just a matter of finding that someone who thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread!

Anonymous said...

Oh My God,

I think when you ended up in your own personal Twilight Zone, where you went to hang out and ended up in a Episode of The Real World.

BTW: At least you are honest about knowing why you date these dudes.

Ans BTW: fucksticks is now my new favorite word