Murphy's Laws on Sex

Have you ever noticed that Murphy's Laws come into play all the time in everyday life? You know: If anything can go wrong, it will; everything takes longer than you think; every solution breeds new problem. I have come to realize that there are Murphy's Laws for everything...including SEX!

1. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
2. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
3. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
4. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
5. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
6. Virginity can be cured.
7. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
8. When the lights are out, everyone looks good.
9. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
10. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

And a few of my own:

1. The one who brags most is usually the worst in bed.
2. The hornier you are, the shorter it is.
3. Any loose hair will find its way to your mouth.
4. The more you try not to "queef" the louder it is.
5. When you're trying be the quietest is when the bed squeaks the most.
6. Just when you're getting into it, you'll have to pee.
7. The day you don't shave is the day the opportunity arises.
8. When you just want it over with, he will go for hours.
9. When you have no desire to swallow, he will indeed "accidentally" come in your mouth.
10. The moment you are on the bottom is when he'll begin to sweat buckets.