I'm not sure when I became so pessimistic, but in the last few weeks, part of me has been anxiously waiting for that bump in the road that throws everything off-kilter.
Things between Boo and I are really good. I've been staying there Thursday night through Monday morning, rather than just the weekends. We go out boating every weekend. We frequently hang out with his friends that are married. Our sex life is good. I really have no reason to believe things will fall apart, aside from my past experiences with men, but I still can't push that nagging feeling away. I know it's a defense mechanism, and I'm preparing myself for a possible letdown so if it does happen, it won't hurt as bad. It's just annoying that I can't sit back and enjoy the ride without worrying about the outcome.
I know that my doubts would be appeased if I just sat down and had a heart to heart with Boo. However, I have so much to say and so much on my mind that I know I wouldn't be able to properly express my feelings to him because I'm not good with verbal communication in that way. Both Boo and I aren't ones to express our emotions, so whatever things need to be voiced stay silenced. Communication is obviously our biggest obstacle to overcome, and it's a big one. I know life is too short to hold back, I just wish I could convince the wuss within me to grow a pair and say something!
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2 comments:
things sound great! i'm a strong believer in actions speaking louder than words. sounds like he's really into spending time with you and must like you a lot. don't be too afraid to broach the topic but keep it a light-hearted and casual topic! best of luck.
I'm with ya sista! As much as things are going great, in the back of my head I'm thinking "how long until this just shits itself?!" Ugh.....it's not the glass is half empty...or full...I've started to think the glass just needs more alcohol in it.
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