Drink, Drank, KERPLUNK

Friday was Boo's birthday, so I left work a little early, put on my fishnets and garters under my jeans and ventured out for an evening full of birthday debauchery. Little did I know how debauched we would get.

Against my suggestion, Boo, his friend Calvin and I ended up at a local sports bar. We were already several beers and several shots deep when Calvin's wife, Cara, and their ten-year-old, Jon, showed up to join our celebration. I sat with Cara talking while the boys were cruelly attacking lobsters at the Grab-a-Poor-Unexpecting-Lobster-in-the-Tank game.

Mid-conversation, Jon came running up yelling something about Boo falling down. Thinking it was one of Boo's normal drunken tricks, we continued our conversation until Jon said he was bleeding. We jumped up and ran across the bar. As I got closer, all I could see from behind the pool table were Boo's legs and feet on the ground. When we reached Boo, he was already sitting up and holding the back of his head. And there was blood. Surprisingly, we all remained pretty calm and got Boo off the floor and on to a bench. We examined his head and there was pretty deep gash. By this time, a bartender and a manager had already come over to see what the chaos was about. Words were exchanged about calling the paramedics, while Boo insisted he was fine.

Five minutes later, the paramedics showed up. They did their thing in examining him and asking him routine questions. They advised us that Boo should go to the hospital because he had been drinking and symptoms of a head injury could be masked. After much argument from Boo and the paramedics threatening him, I found myself accompanying Boo to the hospital.

In the ER, Boo continued his arguments and bitter sarcasm assuring everyone that he was fine. An IV, a liter of pee and a refused CAT scan later, the doctor told him he could leave AMA only if his BAC was under .15 or something to that effect. At this point, Calvin, Cara and Jon had come to the ER. After what seemed like forever and listening to Boo piss and moan, the doctor finally agreed to let Boo check himself out into Cara's care since she was the only sober one. The doctor closed his wound with two staples while the nurses belittled Boo for leaving against medical advice. In spite, Boo pulled the IV out of his arm allowing a tiny river of blood to drip on to the floor. Without hesitation, he marched out to the desk and checked himself out.

We were back at Boo's house by 11pm playing Guitar Hero and laughing at Boo's misfortune when Calvin showed us his injury of the evening: an extremely bruised and swollen pinky finger. As the story goes, Boo gave Calvin a bear hug from behind, causing both of them to stumble and fall backward. Calvin is about twice the size of Boo, and his weight came crashing down on top of Boo. The pool table was there to break their fall, leaving a nice gash on Boo's head and breaking Calvin's pinky as he tried to catch himself on the way down. Cheers to drunken man love.

Boo turned out to be just fine, and the evening wasn't a total disaster, although my fishnets and garters didn't get the use that I had hoped for. We did manage to sneak in some naked cannonballs into the pool and a little bit of loving, despite the fact that Boo most definitely had a killer headache.

Never a dull moment!