I've been chatting up this boy (and I use the term boy because I can, and man sounds oldish) online for only a short period of time. I know that Boy frequents all the cool "hangouts" I do (and by cool, I mean we have no other choices). I invite him to meet up with me and my friends this weekend. So anyway, Boy calls me to chat and shoot the breeze (can you really shoot the breeze...wouldn't you miss?).
Fast forward past all the small talk and stupid stuff. Boy and I start talking about where we work. He mentions where he works. Small world, I know someone (Guy Friend) that used to work there. He mentions what he does there. Small world, Guy Friend had that same job! He asks who...I tell. Small world, Boy motherfuckin' knows Guy Friend! In fact, he actually took over Guy Friend's exact position after he left.
Boy wants to know how I met Guy Friend...I give him the brief version. He teases me about Guy Friend being just my friend. Yah, he emphasized friend. FRIENDS...I re-emphasized it. Boy acts surprised and goes on to tell me how smooth Guy Friend seems. For real? I guess always hanging out with women would come across as smooth. I call it strategic. But I digress.
Boy's friend also knew Guy Friend. Was the pool of potentials potentially shrinking? Or am I just meeting the same types of guys over and over? Whatever the case may be, it's alarming.
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Suggested alternatives for "boy":
Dude
Guy
Fella
A-hole
Young Man
Punk
Chump
Sap
Sucka
Youth
Stud
Gent
Lad
Chap
Bloke (O.K., we're starting to get a little British here.)
Daddy-o (a little too 1940s, maybe.)
Male (guys call girls females, don't they? At least the gangstas do.)
Gangsta
Crip
Blood
Bandito de Pantitos
While I commend your extensive vocabulary, I'm going to have to stick up for the original here. It makes sense in context.
Boy is just so immasculating for anyone over the age of 15. I'm voting for "guy."
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