Dear Man Who Suffers from Genital Inadequacy Syndrome,

There is only one reason (see above) I can think of as to why you feel the need to be dominating and controlling over such a petty thing as a date. Just because I didn't hop on your dick in the blink of an eye like some women have, you do not have the right to be condescending and judgemental.

I, like most people in the world, have a job. And as with most jobs, I work a full day Monday through Friday. Please do not tell me that having to work is a bullshit excuse for not going out with you.

I, like most people in the world, consider family a top priority. And as with most people, when those relatives I don't see regularly come to visit, spending time with them comes before anything else. Please do not tell me that wanting to spend time with family is a bullshit excuse for not going out with you.

I, like most people in the world, know the correct definition of making plans. Plan (n.) - A proposed or tentative project or course of action. In other words, we make plans so we know tentatively what date, time and place something will take place. If you make plans with me and break them, don't expect me to be available afterwards as I have probably made new plans. Please do not get annoyed with me when I'm not readily available when you feel it's convenient.

I, like most women in the world, know how fucked up people are in this world. And as with most women, I will not gladly invite you to my apartment without having met you in a public place first. Please do not tell me that looking out for myself is a bullshit excuse for not seeing you.

Lastly, I, like most women in the world, have come to recognize the warning signs of an asshole. And as with most women, we know to run far, far away. Telling me you have gone out with (insert retardly high number here) of girls does not make me want you more. Going off on an angry tangent about the previously mentioned makes me wonder why you are so persistent about being in control of something as silly as a date. And in being so controlling, it makes me wonder what you are compensating for (see introductory line). Maybe that is the reason you have gone through (insert retardly high number here) women. Maybe that is the reason you were so adamant (read desperate) about going on a date. In any case, you may want to reevaluate.

Sincerely,

That's Biatch to You