I am officially in a funk. Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" came on the radio and I listened to the whole song wistfully. Why is this so bad you ask? Well, in my normal funk-less mood, I cannot stand to listen to even one note of that song without cringing. That song is the nails on the chalkboard of my soul. It hurts me to listen to it.

It probably wouldn't bother me AS much if it weren't for two of the ugliest people on earth deceiving their equally ugly spouses and having a torrid, yet revolting (and extremely noticeable) affair at my first real place of employment. I was 16. Observing "baldy" and "mop-head" (as I fondly refer to them) make googly eyes from their respective stations whenever the song played made me grimace with horror. They had tainted my innocent and picture perfect perception of love. But I digress.

Funky ol' me listened to the WHOLE song; no cringing, grimacing, gagging or nausea of any kind. I actually fell into a pondering, yet disheartening kind of trance. Ew. What the hell is my problem? I better snap the f*ck out of it or I'm recruiting some hard liquor, my best looking friends and a hot, sweaty dance floor. Actually, that sounds like a hell of a time...