...So this one time...: Just one of those days

It's my first day back to work since my little "vaca" in Vegas. I am grumpy and would really looooove to sleep on the beach right now as it is a gorgeous day. So here I am stuck in the office all day being annoyed and it hits me: there are quite a few things that annoy me today. Let's call them some of many pet peeves in my life.

...people that say supposively instead of supposedly.
..."rubberneckers," also known as those people on the interstate that slow down at the sight of anything (car, bird, piece of grass) on the median, which in turn, backs up traffic for miles.
...co-workers that are hacking a lung up and touching everything so I have to disinfect every few minutes.
...those that are brake happy while driving.
...people on an airplane that act all disturbed when they have to get up so you may sit in your seat.
...people that don't leave at least a one foot buffer zone when standing behind me in line.
...when you finally have the traffic light patterns down to the minute and they change it all around on you.
...the 8,039,198 dump trucks in a 30 mile radius so you're always stuck behind one.
...loud, fast talking Mexicans standing below my window when I'm trying to sleep.
...people that choose to sniffle rather than blowing their nose.
...those that leave just a teeny bit(one cookie, crumbs of chips, a drip of milk) left in the container.
...those who drive exactly the speed limit but stay in the passing lane for miles and miles and miles.
...socks with sandals...enough said.
...people who cut in line...what happened to waiting your turn?
...people who are near me and hit me or my purse and don't say "excuse me."
...people who don't say "please" or "thank you."
...kids who play in the middle of the street and don't move when a car comes through (did Mommy tell you to play in traffic and maybe you'll get hit and Mommy will get a nice settlement?).
...having to do something twice because it wasn't done right the first time.
...when you want to know what song is playing on the radio and they don't tell you.
...sitting on my ass, stuck in the office while it is a sunny 80 degrees outside and then having it rain on my only day off.

And while I am on this topic, I have some sexual pet peeves as well.

...a guy who cums all over me without warning. Don't get me wrong, I like it. But I don't like to be surprised with a shot to the eye.
...a guy who assumes that I had multiple orgasms in the 15 minutes it took him. What gave him that absurd idea?
...a guy who won't even go down on me after I spent twenty minutes on him. Again, don't get me wrong, I'm more of a giver anyway. But I like to take sometimes.
...a hot build-up to a five minute (or less) event.
...a hot build-up to a looooooooooooooong event (we're talking soreness and bleeding here...cum already!)
...a guy whose tendencies hint he's a rock star in bed and turns out to be a complete letdown.
...a guy who afterwards keeps re-confirming that I am indeed on the pill (you weren't so worried while you were slamming your penis into me, were you?).
...a guy who asks "why?" when I suggest using a condom. Because I get my kicks from latex. Apparently, the letters STD are not in your alphabet...why the hell else would I suggest that?
...a guy who thinks I'll cum if he slams me so hard that he hits my cervix. Yes, I like it deep...but not when I can feel you in my stomach for twenty minutes straight.
...a guy, for whatever reason(s), can't seem to keep it hard but insists on trying to jam it in there anyways. Ever try shoving a marshmallow in a keyhole? Not so easy, my friend. Let's just call it a lost cause.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Just one of those days

1 comment:

...So this one time...

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